Have we not made for him two eyes?
And a tongue and two lips?
And have shown him the two ways?
But he has not broken through the difficult pass.
Surah al-Balad ayahs 8-11
All praises to Allah that we can still breathe normally, even though if we come to think, we have received a lot of free stuff in this world without having the slightest constant awareness to thank Allah for giving us such free stuff. If only oxygen was price-tagged with as low as one cent per inhalation, imagine how much indebted we are to Allah by now for having to pay to stay alive. Even rain is free. Imagine if every droplet was charged such and such dollars per usage, and we need them just to at least avoid forest fires (that could lead to haze, and lack of colors in our lives). I wonder how we would survive, with all the other bills to pay, stomachs to fill, fees to settle, things to buy. Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah for whatever He has given us, without asking for anything in return. And as to why shouldn’t we show our gratitude to Him with obedience then?
Partly, because maybe we forgot to register that fact in our hearts. The fact that He has given us food, shelter, protection, help – you name it – and He has not the slightest needs from us in return. It is up to us, to strengthen our dependency on Him, putting Him at the center of our life. Face it, we have a choice. A choice given to everyone fair and square, to either remember Him or forget Him. To follow the Straight Path or deviate from it. To make bad assumptions or think good about everything. The choice is solely ours.
So if we end up asking for an extension for assignment/thesis submission, think again. We can’t fully blame people around us, events that occurred that hindered us from finishing thesis on time. The choice is ours whether to act or react to whatever that is occurring in our lives. I guess, this is the most painful slap on my own face. I am just so emotional lately. Reactive, sensitive, you name it. And when emotions seep in, I lost control of my own openness to accept differences. I blamed the system, the people in the corrupted system, other people who support the people in the corrupted system, other people who seemed to be opposing the system behind its back but later on defending the system when I voice out my opposition to the system. I blamed everyone who has ideas not in line with mine. Now that, my friend, is doom for me. It’s when I realized that long gone my daily reflection exercises for myself that I stopped evaluating and re-evaluating my “off” behaviors.
When I think about it again, I guess, I am pretty much messed up with all these “I am a victim, can’t you see?” mindset. And now I am off for another adventure to find the lost me or the remedy for this dangerous mindset. How? Where?
Here (points to the heart). Allah. Reminds of ayah 16-17 from surah al-Hadiid:
Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient.
Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its lifelessness. We have made clear to you the signs; perhaps you will understand.
Surah al-Hadid ayah 16-17
That’s pretty much self-explanatory I guess. If Allah could give life to earth after its lifelessness, then a dying heart should be just “kacang” (easy-peasy) for Allah to do.
So yes. Return to Allah, ask for the remedy (yeah, basically this is me, talking to myself and trying to revive this heart by blogging).
Back to Social Studies now.
Tuesday Mubarak everyone!